Long time no post I know. I've been just living life dealing with stuff being stuck in memory, but also cleaning.
I started this blog to help people find their way, but after a few years I decided perhaps it wasn't my place. My place is just to clean and trust that God is there for me.
Lots of stuff has changed in my life, what I thought was so important, is now not.
I have quit my job, relocated and had a baby between now and the last time I posted.
I admit I'm not the motherly type, in fact I had my son late in my life at 35, but he has changed my world.
I no longer care so much about money, or my career. What's important to me is him. I want to be the mother I never had, and I want to give him the life and opportunities I never had.
For the first time in my life, he is the most important person, not me.
The first few months he was born were awful for me. They say having a baby is hard, I really had no idea. Several months were spent learning to put him first, and me second. Sleep second, eating second, any activity period second. It was an eye opener. Before my baby I admit I was the judging person looking at the moms out there thinking if I had a child I wouldn't do that. But you know what, I do, I do almost everything I said I wasn't going to.
When your baby won't sleep and you need more than an hour yourself, hello cosleeping lol.
But a year has past and my little one is 15 months now. I'm now getting a happy balance in life, I've gone back to work in a different field and I have moved up north.
My husband and my decision to quit my job and move way up north was for my little one and a better life for him.
Up north we can afford a house, have lots of family around and give him more opportunities. To live in a big city is expensive and he wouldn't have as good a life as living in a smaller community. So I quit my career (which I cared so much for in the past), and we moved up north.
I have been here 3 months and in the beginning it was kind of depressing, as it's winter, but just looking at my son and how much he is loved is what's important.
So I am feeling very blessed and happy, and guess what, I'm not putting myself first, but my son.
I just wanted to update this blog as it's been awhile since I've written. I am still practicing ho'oponopono and always cleaning and trying to remember to come from love. Keep the comments coming as I love to read what others have to say.
Remember a lot of this is data just to keep us spinning, but remember to clean and I promise stuff is happening in the background.
I love you, I'm sorry