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Saturday, February 28, 2015

Feeling Blessed


Long time no post I know. I've been just living life dealing with stuff being stuck in memory, but also cleaning.

I started this blog to help people find their way, but after a few years I decided perhaps it wasn't my place. My place is just to clean and trust that God is there for me.

Lots of stuff has changed in my life, what I thought was so important, is now not.

I have quit my job, relocated and had a baby between now and the last time I posted.

I admit I'm not the motherly type, in fact I had my son late in my life at 35, but he has changed my world.

I no longer care so much about money, or my career. What's important to me is him. I want to be the mother I never had, and I want to give him the life and opportunities I never had.

For the first time in my life, he is the most important person, not me.

The first few months he was born were awful for me. They say having a baby is hard, I really had no idea. Several months were spent learning to put him first, and me second. Sleep second, eating second, any activity period second. It was an eye opener. Before my baby I admit I was the judging person looking at the moms out there thinking if I had a child I wouldn't do that. But you know what, I do, I do almost everything I said I wasn't going to.

When your baby won't sleep and you need more than an hour yourself, hello cosleeping lol.

But a year has past and my little one is 15 months now. I'm now getting a happy balance in life, I've gone back to work in a different field and I have moved up north.

My husband and my decision to quit my job and move way up north was for my little one and a better life for him.

Up north we can afford a house, have lots of family around and give him more opportunities. To live in a big city is expensive and he wouldn't have as good a life as living in a smaller community. So I quit my career (which I cared so much for in the past), and we moved up north.

I have been here 3 months and in the beginning it was kind of depressing, as it's winter, but just looking at my son and how much he is loved is what's important.

So I am feeling very blessed and happy, and guess what, I'm not putting myself first, but my son.

I just wanted to update this blog as it's been awhile since I've written. I am still practicing ho'oponopono and always cleaning and trying to remember to come from love. Keep the comments coming as I love to read what others have to say.

Remember a lot of this is data just to keep us spinning, but remember to clean and I promise stuff is happening in the background.

I love you, I'm sorry

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

What Path Is the Right Way?

I have been stuck in memories and furthering my spiritual journey, so I have avoided this blog, as I got sucked down the rabbit hole…lol.

First, let me start off with, A Course in Miracles – have you heard of it? If not, then don’t give it another thought. If you have, well then you know what I know. When I first bought a copy of it in 2009 I could only read a bit of it. To me, the theories are so disturbing and so out there, I just could not continue.

Apparently A course in Miracles is supposed to be Jesus dictating to a woman named Helene who scribes down everything. The Course makes you change your way of thinking, especially as a Christian, some of the points I cannot swallow:

God did not create the world – it is a fake world and an illusion.

Jesus did not die on the cross for our sins. He awakened and joined God.

Good and evil do not exist. Nothing is real.

At first I was going to try and accept this book. I asked the Holy Spirit for Guidance and Jesus to show me the way. So first I began reading Disappearance of the Universe, which is a lay-man’s guide to this journey. Anyway it’s concepts are hard to get past, but I was trying. Up until the enlighten beings from supposedly God, started talking about Judah Iscariot. They said he was a traitor to Jesus and sold Jesus out for money to get prostitutes. I also didn't like how we all have God inside us and that Jesus was just to show us the way, and we aren't supposed to treat Him like our savior. This is a big no-no in Christianity.

Draw whatever conclusions you want, but I believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins and that God created the world. Maybe I’m not ready in this “lifetime” to be awakened and follow the Course in Miracles.

I am not saying that the bible we know today is perfect. I am sure some books have been altered or dropped. But I think that we should trust what we feel in our hearts, and I do not feel like A Course in Miracles is from Jesus like everyone claims. For that matter what’s up with calling him “J” and not Jesus?

I just wanted to post this as I know an earlier post I mentioned this book, and wanted to let you know I have since changed my views on this subject.

So for now, I will continue to clean and come from love because that I feel is God’s way. And to practice forgiveness. But I will not forsake Jesus who died on the cross for my sins.

I love you

I’m sorry